|i said puck you, miss
||[Jan. 9th, 2009|10:24 pm]
just reminded by buetkween of how much i adore summer heights high. <3<3.
im still really sick, which sucks so much. my mom wont let me sleep out tonight so i think eva's just coming over--if she can deal with me coughing all night. i feel like such shit, i really hate being sick. i can't hear very well at all, and im coughing all the time. what's worse is that my mom--even though she's a doctor--thinks that tylenol cold will cure me, so that's all im taking because she doesn't feel like getting me an actual doctor's appointment. i know, i sound like a little kid bitching about this, but im crabby and about to throw up because im coughing so hard. FUCK THIS, seriously.
in other news, school sucks. i really can't describe how much i hate school right now. i'm slacking in all of my classes and getting really careless because im tired of trying, but i can't really do that with finals in FIVE DAYS. im ready to die, and MORE than ready for this semester to be done with. i hate all this pressure. grading people becomes increasingly offensive to me as time goes on, probably because my grades are slipping, ha. i have found a college im REALLY interested in though. pepperdine university. it's a christian school in malibu, which seems really cool. and it's not like, crazy fundamentalist or anything--i think it'll be good for me. and it's division one in sports and a REALLY good school. WOW pressure's on.
got an mri for my ankle yesterday, jason (my trainer) says im going back in the boot. woooow failure. i can still swim though, which is great.
THIS IS ABOUT GOD. SKIP IT IF YOU THINK IM A PUSHY CHRISTIAN. lately ive been feeling really far from god. i dont know why. younglife didn't go over break, but i still spent time with em my leader and with people from yl so i dont know what's going on. it scares me. i have anxiety and i was getting to a point with god where i could feel myself sort of leaving that partially...i know that sounds stupid but i still felt it, but now it's back and full-fledged. i really want to drink and smoke again. i just feel really lost and far from god lately, and i hate that feeling. i missed campaigners (bible study) this week because i was sick, and that killed me because i really needed that. i'm going to go out with em sometime this upcoming week, but im also thinking of getting some yl people together to do a mini-campaigners. i dont know if that sounds stupid, whatever. it just sucks because i was at such a good place, the best place i've ever been and now it's gone and i dont know why. a;lkjdioajerlkansg this is more frustrating than school and being sick combined, i think.DONE.
im gonna go make some brownies and wait for eva to get home. i was too busy hanging out with homeless people in my church's basement to go out with her tonight. that sounded resentful, it wasn't.
have a good weekend : )